"Why is the path unclear when we know home is near? Understand we'll go hand in hand but we'll walk alone in fear. Tell me where do we go from here?"
I have 55 days left in Abingdon. The english language doesn't have words to describe the fear coursing throught my psyche. I keep telling myself to enjoy it. "This is what you wanted" I say to myself. It is scary but thrilling as well. Change is coming. The biggest mystery is what will I do?
Recently I have been giving grad school more and more thought. I miss being a student. I miss learning. I have a great amount of practical knowledge of theatrical production but I feel like I need to improve my Theatre History / Literature base. The prospect of studying for an M.A. in Theatre History truly thrills me. I know at some point in my future I want to teach at the college level. To do that I have to have a Master's degree. The thought of getting a Master's thrills me but the thought of going into debt for the rest of my life for a three year degree is kind of terrifying as well. I also have to consider that I will miss Stage Managing. If I do go to grad school there is always the possiblity that I could gig in the summer but I think I would really miss working in the real theate.
I don't want to go to a a cult grad school. One of those schools that rather than concentrate on the individual student they concentrate on the student as the brand name. I wouldn't last a week in a school like that. There are several programs that I am looking at, they all look promising but it is so hard to decide about school on paper without visiting and talking to the students and professors.
Life is so bloody complicated . . .
I have 55 days left in Abingdon. The english language doesn't have words to describe the fear coursing throught my psyche. I keep telling myself to enjoy it. "This is what you wanted" I say to myself. It is scary but thrilling as well. Change is coming. The biggest mystery is what will I do?
Recently I have been giving grad school more and more thought. I miss being a student. I miss learning. I have a great amount of practical knowledge of theatrical production but I feel like I need to improve my Theatre History / Literature base. The prospect of studying for an M.A. in Theatre History truly thrills me. I know at some point in my future I want to teach at the college level. To do that I have to have a Master's degree. The thought of getting a Master's thrills me but the thought of going into debt for the rest of my life for a three year degree is kind of terrifying as well. I also have to consider that I will miss Stage Managing. If I do go to grad school there is always the possiblity that I could gig in the summer but I think I would really miss working in the real theate.
I don't want to go to a a cult grad school. One of those schools that rather than concentrate on the individual student they concentrate on the student as the brand name. I wouldn't last a week in a school like that. There are several programs that I am looking at, they all look promising but it is so hard to decide about school on paper without visiting and talking to the students and professors.
Life is so bloody complicated . . .
posted by JohnXIV at 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
let me know if you wanna talk about school sometime. . . i have a definite opinion. . . . and would love to hear about what you are looking at.
oh. . . and love the buffy reference
John! It's too bad about Barter! I mean, how could it possibly survive without the two of us!
Twenty-five miles or thousands of miles,
when am I going to leave here?
Twenty-five miles or thousands of miles,
when am I going to get there?
Twenty-five miles or thousands of miles,
who am I going to help there?
Twenty-five miles or thousands of miles,
when am I going to get there?
~Innocence Mission, Small Planes (great song!)
John, I love you! We will always be searching for more I think. That's what you and I do. Deep down you know what you need. Just follow your heart. If it's grad school, you'll find the one that's right for you. Pam (my #1 teach) says, and I believe it's true, she says, the universe has a way of working itself out. You're making a leap, and how awesome to be so free! You're free, think of nothing else and bask in it. Happiness within will lead you. No seriously. Miss you.
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