I did something really embarrassing today. I mean really, really embarrassing. I mean got that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that liquid-y despair feeling. Sweet Zombie Jesus even now 6 hours later I am still embarrassed. Coincidently it was also the gayest thing I have *ever* done, yes even gayer than having sex with a man! So here's what happened:
I was doing yard work. Since I have been home I am trying to help my parents around the house 'cause they are old. So there I was raking grass. I had my faithful iPod with me listening to my "I Heart the 80's" playlist. Doing yard work is actually an incredibly zen activity for me, I (yikes!) kind of enjoy it. So there I was in the middle of the yard raking madly and listening to some tunes when "Venus" by Bananarama came up. So I began singing. Out loud. And I mean loud. Now realize that I am in the middle of a 3 acre yard so cars passing by couldn't possibly hear me. It seemed pretty safe. What happened next was rather unexpected. Now the term "dancing" is far too strong. Far too strong. Unfortunately the term "ass-shake" kind of fits like a glove. What can I say it's a great song. I am sure you are sitting at your computer thinking "If John was in the middle of a 3 acre yard why is he embarrassed?" Well here's why. Gods I can barely type the words . . . I was a little caught up in the moment. The Bananarama can do that to a fellow. I was so caught up in the song that I forgot the construction going on next door. Yes barely 30 feet from me was a crew working on the foundation of the neighbor's new house.
After I realized they were over there I froze. A hot prickly feeling crept over my body and I actually thought I might throw up right there. What I did next really makes no sense. I turned down the music on the iPod and froze, I mean I remained motionless for a long time. WTF? Like their vision is based on movement and if I didn't move they just couldn't see me any more. I actually had to go back inside the house I was so embarrassed and I couldn't go back out to finish until the workers left for the day. I will remain in hiding from them until the new house is finished.
I was doing yard work. Since I have been home I am trying to help my parents around the house 'cause they are old. So there I was raking grass. I had my faithful iPod with me listening to my "I Heart the 80's" playlist. Doing yard work is actually an incredibly zen activity for me, I (yikes!) kind of enjoy it. So there I was in the middle of the yard raking madly and listening to some tunes when "Venus" by Bananarama came up. So I began singing. Out loud. And I mean loud. Now realize that I am in the middle of a 3 acre yard so cars passing by couldn't possibly hear me. It seemed pretty safe. What happened next was rather unexpected. Now the term "dancing" is far too strong. Far too strong. Unfortunately the term "ass-shake" kind of fits like a glove. What can I say it's a great song. I am sure you are sitting at your computer thinking "If John was in the middle of a 3 acre yard why is he embarrassed?" Well here's why. Gods I can barely type the words . . . I was a little caught up in the moment. The Bananarama can do that to a fellow. I was so caught up in the song that I forgot the construction going on next door. Yes barely 30 feet from me was a crew working on the foundation of the neighbor's new house.
After I realized they were over there I froze. A hot prickly feeling crept over my body and I actually thought I might throw up right there. What I did next really makes no sense. I turned down the music on the iPod and froze, I mean I remained motionless for a long time. WTF? Like their vision is based on movement and if I didn't move they just couldn't see me any more. I actually had to go back inside the house I was so embarrassed and I couldn't go back out to finish until the workers left for the day. I will remain in hiding from them until the new house is finished.
posted by JohnXIV at 8:03 PM
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