Robbing Graveyards

I haven't had time to post recently thanks to tech week. The week kind of got away from me. By Thursday I was completely behind in everything. It was one of those weeks that by the end I was so tired I got a little crazy. This morning when I woke up I couldn't actually remember which day it was . . . anyway on to the post:

Warning to the reader: This post reveals my complete insanity. If you wish to keep the illusion of me as a stable, sane person do not continue reading.

When I get over something I create a little mental list of why each event happened and how it produced a benefit in my life. I try to hold to the philosophy that events don't matter except in how we react to them. So I compile these lists in my head. But whenever I get tired or particularly self-destructive I have this nasty little habit. When I get in a certain mood, I like to edit these lists. Basically I play "What If?" with my past, I call this little pasttime "robbing the graveyard". The consequence of this is I often find myself sad or angry about an event that happened a year, two or three ago. Then I have go about the task of re-proving the list. It has happened a lot in the last year, I have always done this but recently it is happening more. The thing that scares me is that maybe I have shifted my self-destructive activities from physical to mental. In moments of dread I think this may be the price I have to pay for improving my physical health.

I did proclaim 2005 as the "Year of Crazy". . . It sucks to be a prophet.