A Letter
Dear A**hole,
Is it working? The whole lying to yourself thing? Because you are driving the few people who actually like you away. Because you aren’t being honest with yourself you have to shut other people out. To cover your isolation you are forced develop the narcissistic philosophy that others aren’t worthy of you. You spend every minute of your day building and reinforcing the walls around yourself to keep others out, to keep them from knowing the truth. Unfortunately your isolation doesn’t fool anyone. You hate yourself and everyone knows, because when someone hates them self as much as you do it shows like the Mark of Cain .
In spite this I wanted to be your friend. I actually thought you could have benefited from having friends. From spending time with people who actually like who they are. The problem with trying to be your friend was I never knew how you were going to react. Sometimes my overtures of friendship were greeted warmly and other times you reacted as if I attempted to rape you. No more. It stops here. I won’t participate in your sickness any longer.
I want you to find happiness but no one but yourself can help you. You have to make the choice to be happy. The beauty of the situation is that it will be so easy. Just stop lying. It’s that simple. You will be amazed at how free you feel.
Best,
j
Is it working? The whole lying to yourself thing? Because you are driving the few people who actually like you away. Because you aren’t being honest with yourself you have to shut other people out. To cover your isolation you are forced develop the narcissistic philosophy that others aren’t worthy of you. You spend every minute of your day building and reinforcing the walls around yourself to keep others out, to keep them from knowing the truth. Unfortunately your isolation doesn’t fool anyone. You hate yourself and everyone knows, because when someone hates them self as much as you do it shows like the Mark of Cain .
In spite this I wanted to be your friend. I actually thought you could have benefited from having friends. From spending time with people who actually like who they are. The problem with trying to be your friend was I never knew how you were going to react. Sometimes my overtures of friendship were greeted warmly and other times you reacted as if I attempted to rape you. No more. It stops here. I won’t participate in your sickness any longer.
I want you to find happiness but no one but yourself can help you. You have to make the choice to be happy. The beauty of the situation is that it will be so easy. Just stop lying. It’s that simple. You will be amazed at how free you feel.
Best,
j
posted by JohnXIV at 10:36 PM
2 Comments:
Hello John, I know I have an advantage that most people don't have in regards to this entry, but whatever. Sometimes, well, most of the time, we allow others to not only affect our emotions, but control them. We give them power they don't deserve. You've taken the power back.
I so enjoyed watching you write this entry. Do you remember how you felt? It seemed like you felt free. It was a beautiful thing!
Just think, if not for this situation, a growing love for musical theatre would not have been born!!
I just have one thing to say to you! Sex is good, but I'd rather be sailing. Food is nice, but I'd rather be sailing. Friends are swell, but I'd rather be sailing...
I love ya!
this is to dear Kathleen as much as to you mdear Hall...(I love that song...though the best of all is sex WHILE sailing...anyway, I digress)...WHO ARE YOU WRITING THAT LETTER TO???you refuse to tell me, though, by now, i think i have my suspicions...so , even if it is in a private email, being the gent you are...TELL ME!!! Or I will have to come down there and......watch rehearsals!!!! We both send love....you lovely valentine of a man , you...and to you too, dear Kathleen, a sweetheart of a woman if ever there was one...xxevalyn
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