Fat and Anderson Cooper (in that order)

I am so tired of Atkins bashing. I read on CNN's website how some research group has decided that the low carb craze is over. There is so much wrong with that idea I don't know where to begin. For the people who are truly committed to a low-carb lifestlye it was never a craze. It was simly a great option. The only people it was a craze for are people who aren't truly committed to it. Losing weight, if it is a significant amount you need to lose, is as much timing as diet. You have to be ready to lose weight. There is no magic wand. You have to decide to do it. You have to keep the fire burning in your soul. Every day you have to work at it. You have to fight the demons. For me, at least, it is very much an addiction. It is about power. I simly decided I wanted the power. I will no longer let food have it. (if you haven't read Seat Of The Soul by Gary Zukav go get it right f*cking now). For people truly committed to low-carb diets they will always be on them. It is a life choice not a craze for us.

It just seems like everyone wants to take away any hope we fat people may have. Any ray of sunshine we may have. There is always a rush to condemn the latest weight loss method. Look at how people treat Richard Simmons. OK, OK the man is a clown but he helps people. How many success stories does he have? Hundreds? Thousands? That is what should matter. Why doesn't CNN do a story about people who have had incredible success on Atkins? or South Beach? Why don't they do a story about how fat kids get picked on every single day at school? The answer is the same reason there are no fat anchors on CNN. It just sucks because I know there are kids out there that could benefit from seeing CNN do a positive piece about weight loss. And yes I am sure they have but I haven't seen it on the top page of their website. They bury it at the bottom of the website or broadcast it at 4am.

Speaking of CNN . . . who is Anderson Cooper kidding? Really? Does he think we don't know?

"In any marginalized community, whether people identify themselves or not affects us all." -- Ani Difranco

Goodbye

“Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace." --Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Two very dear friends moved away this week. One on Monday the other on Wednesday. I suck at goodbyes. Especially important ones. I just concentrate on trying not to be too emotional and I turn into a John robot. What do you say to someone who is very important to you? If I try to sum up a relationship in one sentence I feel like I am cheating. Somehow demeaning what exists by putting it into too few words. In order to correctly sum up the friendship I would have to give a speech. So I just end up saying something like “I love you and goodbye”. I hate goodbyes. I keep telling myself that the only thing in our friendship that has changed is proximity. That helps. But still, it sucks when people you care about are 600 miles away. I miss you two already!

You Have To Be Carefully Taught (or some random political thoughts)

So everyday in Christmas Carol when the audience hears the line “I think we should take out our guns and kill all the liberals” there is always a reaction. Sometimes big, sometimes small but there is always a seemingly positive reaction. I expect it. This county went to Bush by a 30% margin. However what really upsets me is when we have school groups of elementary and middle school kids who cheer and applaud the line. The school matinees invariable have the biggest reaction to that line. I know I didn’t truly start to develop my political beliefs until high school. It scares me that, apparently, these kids are being taught to hate liberals. This is what is wrong with our political discourse. We should respectfully disagree with the other side but not hate them. Certainly we shouldn’t teach our children to hate them. Fear, yes. Resent, OK. Ridicule, absolutely but not hate.

Liberals, in general and Democrats, specifically have let the word “Liberal” become a dirty word. This country was founded by liberals. Hello, the American revolution? That was a pretty liberal endeavor. I feel like that was one way the Kerry campaign truly failed. They let the Republicans winnow the election down to supposedly moral issues. Who the hell cares about gay marriage when our government and our president lied to us? Gay marriage or non-existent WMDs? What is more important? Why did the whole gay marriage thing become so important that it overshadowed a war based on false pretenses? I am still amazed. I love reading how some Democrats are scared of Howard Dean becoming head of the DNC. Please explain to me how the Democratic Party could be in worse condition nationally?

Every time I hear crowds react to the line I feel just the tiniest bit scared to live in a Red state. I need to move to New England.

Hello Yellow Brick Road

I went to the doctor today. I have horrible insomnia. Seriously it’s never been this bad. So I finally worked up the nerve to say something to my doctor. She gave me a prescription for a sleep aid. Exactly what I need! Although a tiny part of me feels like if I take sleeping pills I will wake up tomorrow as Judy Garland, the whole pill addict part not the entertainer/gay icon part. I wouldn’t mind insomnia so much if I could be productive for some of the hours I spend missing sleep. I could be writing or painting or doing something worth-while. Instead I sit at the computer reading for hours (thank you www.wikipedia.com). It’s the feeling of so much time wasted that bothers me. So hopefully this is the end of insomnia as I know it. Unless, of course, I overdose and die in my sleep. Either way I am done with insomnia. Those of you who are still laughing at the mental image of me as Judy Garland can stop now. And for the record, I would look HOT in a sequined pant-suit.

In the beginning . . .

So here it is, my first post. I was searching for a name for this blog but I couldn't think of something. So turn to the trusty Tarot deck. Always good for a quick decision. After a couple of shuffles I pull out the Prince of Swords. The Prince and the Princess in the Tarot deck represent a person learning skills to lead a more fulfilling life. One of my books says "He begins with an intellectual understanding of what he wants to learn and then he transforms his body to do the will of the mind." It made me feel good. Hopefully a good omen.

This season has really burned me out and my creative outlets aren't refreshing me as well as they used to. I don't get the same joy from theatre that I used to. So now I am trying something new, something a little more dangerous. A web-based journal. Where anyone with a computer can read what I write and tell me what they think of my writing. Although I guess they would need at least one finger as well as a computer, you can't really access the internet if you don't have digits. Although maybe they have some type of stylus they can hold in their mouth. Anyway . . . the safety net is gone. No longer will my public writing be relegated to rehearsal notes and performance reports. Hopefully I won't be too boring.

Friends and I are going to a Christmas tree farm tomorrow and getting a tree. I am ridiculously excited. My mother has instilled in me a love of christmas decorating that is still strong in me even though I no longer am a christian. Is that wrong? My christmas tree is all Martha Stewart, all the way. Even the freaking lights are Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart First Snowfall, my god it is beautiful. I figure I owe it to her to have an all Martha tree since she is in the clink.

How is that for a first post? From tarot deck to creative outlets to Martha Stewart by way of finger-less web surfers. It may be a little difficult to top this in future posts.